I left writing in the middle, because, well, i got caught in the wonders of FML moments in my life, working and even getting back to the addictions i wanted to get rid of. I have to admit, writing all this for everyone to see was a good sign for me and like always, i lost interest midway.
Have you ever had that happen to you ? Losing interest? I have always lost interest in things that have been good for me - diets, plans, routines, etc. But never the ones that sucked the living hell out of me - I got back into a torrid relationship that had pushed me to the brink of seeking professional help (no, not couples counselling! The other kind of help - where he is the topic of discussion) that, in change got me back to my smoking ( i haven't gone back to drinking yet and thank God for that ).
There should be warning signs slapped on guys' heads. Warnings that can help stupid and naive people like me from making mistakes like i always manage to make. Many should come with 'self centered' and 'mama's boy' just tattooed right up there, others should have the more dangerous 'addictive personality , 'prone to domestic violence' even 'emotional blackmailer' labels.
I didn't have the beater (my good luck? ) but i did have the blackmailer, who is also self centered and cannot apparently for some reason even take a step without asking for help. Why ask the help? The reason being, when something does go wrong in his life, he has someone else to blame other than himself and that's where i came in, the go to girl, his gopher, apart from being his 'friend', his confidant and lover, i was his personal secretary, his treasurer, his magic 8 ball (not taking the word ball lightly here).
I have said the line "Leave him, he is a jerk" Hell lot of times and yes, he can be listed as yet another one of my addictions, however, he has become such a normal way of my life, i can't imagine a day without him acting like the evil one that he is. A day when he doesn't call for help or another sob story about his girlfriends (yes, i am the go to girl for that too, freaky right? ) i feel weird, i feel incomplete.
This may be really unfathomable for many of you reading, what is this girl doing to herself? Why is she not looking for greener pastures? Trust me i have tried, may be it's my bad luck that i have to stay with him, till some thing better comes along or just plain stupidity, i'd rather not know.
Reading all that i have written the song - ' Blower's daughter' comes to mind. The lyrics make sense and as self obsessed as i am, i feel the song is made just for what i feel for that unforgivable mistake i once called love.
Have you ever had that happen to you ? Losing interest? I have always lost interest in things that have been good for me - diets, plans, routines, etc. But never the ones that sucked the living hell out of me - I got back into a torrid relationship that had pushed me to the brink of seeking professional help (no, not couples counselling! The other kind of help - where he is the topic of discussion) that, in change got me back to my smoking ( i haven't gone back to drinking yet and thank God for that ).
There should be warning signs slapped on guys' heads. Warnings that can help stupid and naive people like me from making mistakes like i always manage to make. Many should come with 'self centered' and 'mama's boy' just tattooed right up there, others should have the more dangerous 'addictive personality , 'prone to domestic violence' even 'emotional blackmailer' labels.
I didn't have the beater (my good luck? ) but i did have the blackmailer, who is also self centered and cannot apparently for some reason even take a step without asking for help. Why ask the help? The reason being, when something does go wrong in his life, he has someone else to blame other than himself and that's where i came in, the go to girl, his gopher, apart from being his 'friend', his confidant and lover, i was his personal secretary, his treasurer, his magic 8 ball (not taking the word ball lightly here).
I have said the line "Leave him, he is a jerk" Hell lot of times and yes, he can be listed as yet another one of my addictions, however, he has become such a normal way of my life, i can't imagine a day without him acting like the evil one that he is. A day when he doesn't call for help or another sob story about his girlfriends (yes, i am the go to girl for that too, freaky right? ) i feel weird, i feel incomplete.
This may be really unfathomable for many of you reading, what is this girl doing to herself? Why is she not looking for greener pastures? Trust me i have tried, may be it's my bad luck that i have to stay with him, till some thing better comes along or just plain stupidity, i'd rather not know.
Reading all that i have written the song - ' Blower's daughter' comes to mind. The lyrics make sense and as self obsessed as i am, i feel the song is made just for what i feel for that unforgivable mistake i once called love.
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