Dear Dad

Dear dad

First off, i want to say - i miss you too much. So much it hurts. The pain crawls down my skin and seeps into my heart and my brain. Blinds me and renders me paralyzed. I know it has been too long that you left us, but i wont move on from you.

Eight years i have spent coping without you. Mom has spent coping with me. My mood swings, my life's ups and downs and her own. I have grown up from the small chubby girl to a lady. Still on the chubby side, i feel out of place now. I can't stop thinking of the what ifs and wish you were heres.

It has been a long journey without you. I have had a few broken hearts and so has mom, special moments and joyous occasions too. I passed school with a few scratches and i am about pass college.

I have gone through a roller coaster of experiences and i would have to say i couldn't have done it without my mom helping me get up when i was fallen. I fell in love with a boy, who broke my heart, i know if you would have been here, i might have gotten the courage to let him go, i got a few bad grades and i know if you would have been here, i might have gotten the liberty to move past them. I got a few bruises and scratches and i know, if you would have been here, i might have gotten recklessness to laugh at them. But i had my mom, and even though i didn't really have the life i had planned, it was a whole new and better life. When i didn't have the courage, she gave me a helping hand, when i didn't have the liberty, she took the first step, when i didn't have the recklessness, she took the risk and i must say, i didn't miss you much then, i didn't miss you as much as i had expected.

I still miss you, the way the sun misses the moon, destined never to meet for eternity.

I miss you so much it hurts, my life would have been different and now that i think of it, if i had the chance i would have told you how much i loved you the last time we talked. With what has boiled over, i still thank you for watching over me and i would still miss you all the same till time takes its toll over me.