The green eyed monster

What will a girl be without her emotions.

She is overridden with thoughts, panicky thoughts.
Anger, happiness, jealousy... so much jealousy and pride. Emotions flow as soon as she wakes up. Different ones are triggered through words, newly discovered news (gossip to be more precise), photographs, objects, you really don't know what can change a girl's mood.

How do i know girls are unpredictable? I just experienced it first hand. I was going through my friend's list on Facebook and came across a - how do say this? A frenemy? Are there such things in real life? I thought they were only alive in sitcoms. 

Anyway, i saw her recent photographs. One of them showed her standing beside her friends as she wore a summer dress and a pair of sunglasses, which were too big for her face (sense the tone of bitchiness in the words?) The photos made my heart miss a beat. She was toned. She had a thin face now. And she looked, regrettably more beautiful than the last time i saw her.

The pangs of jealousy tore through my chest. I kept staring at her. I had always envied her. The way her hair used to have a certain lustre, Her skin, flawlessly white and soft. She had eyelashes that could touch her eyebrows and big brown eyes, which could melt any boy looking into them. She always had boys running after her. Many even befriended me to get to her.

This had put a black seed in my head and watching her become sexier and thinner just made me lose my cool. I always felt inferior to her, she always had the most handsome boyfriends, she got A-grades in her college and school projects and was quite popular. And she was friends with me. You might imagine my anger when the boys i liked used to ask me whether she was available.

It's not like i was not good at what i did, or that i was not good looking enough. She was just better. When i left for my job, i thought i had lost contact for good, then i remembered Mark Zuckerberg had already invented Facebook and there was no letting go of the people i didn't like. I had to tolerate her becoming more and more enticing with age as i sat in my house and grew larger. We were the same size once- and not fat! We were both on the thinner side and i still felt unsure about my self. This just says that i didn't have enough self confidence but her beauty never helped either.

I felt good about my self when she used to tell me she liked my dressing sense better. Well, i was better at some thing. Once i grow older, i know i am going to read this post and laugh at myself, but till then, i have to say, she just put in the anger i needed to get back into shape. Jealousy is a mean little monster.

It makes you think the worst of things, and gets the more powerful Mr. Hyde out of you. It can make you do terrible things. I have done horribly wrong things out of jealousy. Well that story is for another time. So to end this post all i have to say is - I am trying to get back to my dieting and exercise regime. It's high time i stopped feeling sorry for myself and regained my position as the more beautiful one out of the two of us. Jealousy helped me in this situation. Maybe it's not so bad after all.