It is a sad time to be fat.

I am single on valentines day and all my friends who are in a relationship have been wishing me since morning. As if to taunt me - "Hey! No one likes you and we are here to remind you of that every second!"

I feel like puking when I hear what the guys are doing for their girlfriends today. A gag reflex developed with almost 20 years of single hood to back me up. I am sitting on my chair in one corner of the office, sipping on tasteless green tea and I can't think of any thing to work on as of now, since all my mind can think about is the fact that no one even looks at me! Or is it my imagination? Do guys notice me and i don't notice them?  Do they try to talk to me but I turn them down unconsciously?

If you can imagine a more painful situation for a highly vain person like me, do tell me.

A lot of people have said these words to me, " You have to wait for the right one." " They don't just drop into your laps! You have to go out and socialise!" "Keep your options open, don't restrict yourself to your fantasy man." A lot of malarkey on the same lines. I have one word for every one with the same advice - What! Followed by a disgusted face.  

I have a few questions for them. Firstly - If I have to wait, and you didn't, does that mean you did something I am not doing? Or maybe you compromised for a relationship? If I have to lower my standards, does that mean the guy lowered his too? Where do i go to socialise? Pubs and bars? I thought those were destinations for one night stands. My fantasy list has been cut down to three things - Intelligent, caring and a good personality. I still don't have a guy. Does this mean there are no men who have these at least these three traits together? Should I cut my list down to one word? That situation really depresses me.

I thought India had a skewed sex ratio, shouldn't that mean I should have had guys falling head over hells for me? Or maybe it's a myth.

I just had a small conversation with my friend, who is also, surprisingly single (turns out thin, good looking girls also remain single on Valentine's), the whole chat went some thing like this -

Her - "Happy Valentine's day!"
Me - "Bullshit."
Her - "Oh ya, i forgot, we are still single."
Me - "How is it possible that we are still single.?"
Her - "We are not bitches.Guys run after girls who are cruel to them."
Me - "So, why can't we turn into bitches?"
Her - "We need guys around us to act like bitches."
Me - "But, we are single...  and no one is really interested in us."
Her - "So there is no point being a bitch, is there?"
Me - "No."
Her - "It's a deadly trap."
Me - "Sigh"

So, by now, you must empathise with my dilemma. I don't have much to look forward to on Valentine's day. I do have this book by Harold Robbins called "The Carpetbaggers", which makes my life seem quite smooth.